Monday, 28 January 2013

on a lighter note

There are a lot of good reasons to stay single. At first you may think that staying single isn't a good thing, but there are a few things you should consider, well 137 things to be exact. This is a comprehensive list about not being in a relationship and the perks that come with it. I bet a lot of these things don't even cross your mind, and perhaps after you read this you'll give the single life a second thought.

137 Reasons Why You Should Stay Single

1. You can do what you want, when you want.

2. You don't have to dress up for anyone.

3. You don't have to cook for anyone but yourself.

4. No nagging. Ever.

5. You don't have to pay for your girlfriend/boyfriend.

6. You can snore when you feel like snoring.

7. You don't have to meet her/his parents, especially if they dislike you.

8. You don't have to share.

9. Your girlfriend/boyfriend won't invade your privacy (email, cell numbers, etc).

10. Don't have to worry about marriage and it's costs.

11. Don't have to hear "But, honey.. we never have our alone time!"

12. You don't have to share the television.

13. You can play video games all day in your free time without feeling guilty.

14. You decide when to go to bed.

15. You don't have to make dinner for him/her.

16. You can scratch yourself, fart, and all that other rude stuff when you want.

17. Your food lasts much longer, only cooking for one.

18. You can sleep till noon on weekends without feeling bad.

19. Less pressure about your weight.

20. You are the king/queen of the toilet seat, it can remain up or down (preference).

21. Don't have to worry about "accidently" having a child.

22. You can vacuum when you feel like it.

23. You don't have to worry about being "dumped".

24. There is no jealousy.

25. You can "geek out" without being nagged.

26. Everything in your home is yours.

27. You don't have to explain where you were last night.

28. You decide when to do the dishes.

29. A lot more time to spend with friends.

30. Less pet peeves to deal with.

31. Don't have to worry about her hanging out with guy friends (and vice versa).

32. You are not morally obligated to do things against your will.

33. No one else is going to eat your leftover pizza.

34. You can concentrate more on your own life.

35. You can answer the phone when you feel like answering the phone!

36. You can sit there all day in your underwear and not feel obligated to dress.

37. Going out to eat and then to a movie is cheaper for just one.

38. You won't have that "I want kids" discussion.

39. When your car gets old and has a lot of miles on it, you can trade it in for a new one without it complaining or feeling bad. /wink

40. You can eat whatever you want, when you want, without a compromise.

41. You don't have to hang with his/her annoying friends.

42. You can walk around naked without fear of him/her bringing friends home.

43. No sharing of the fan, it's all yours.

44. Only have to deal with your own insecurities, and not his/hers too.

45. You can stare at the gals (or guys) all you want without the "uh oh, busted" feeling.

46. You don't have to come up with excuses for things.

47. You don't have to worry about your checking account vanishing mysteriously. Well, not as much.

48. You don't have to suffer a pink puffy bathroom (if your a guy) or falling into the toilet because the guy left it up (if your a girl).

49. Speaking of bathrooms, you don't have to worry about "the smell" after you go.

50. You only have to deal with your own fetishes, and not some abnormal fetishes that are totally alien to you.

51. No one is telling you that you need to work out and lose weight.

52. You don't have to buy gifts for the holidays for the 'extended family'.

53. You don't have to tell white lies. "Yes dear, that dress is pretty" and vice versa.

54. If you live alone, you can pee with the door open without grief.

55. You don't have to suffer her/him going through your belongings.

56. You don't have to worry about your cell phone bill being huge because she/he borrowed it for a whole week.

57. No one will steal your covers at night.

58. Paying for vacations for one is cheaper.

59. You don't have to suffer the aftermath of a breakup.

60. You don't have to hide your habits.

61. You don't have to shave.

62. You get the entire couch to yourself.

63. No one sees what you look like when you wake up in the morning.

64. No waking from the other person snoring!

65. No one to accidently see your dirty underwear.

66. You get the entire boxed "meal for two" for just yourself!

67. No one telling you to get your clothes out of the washer or dryer.

68. When you cook you don't have to worry about how bad it is.

69. You don't have to share your soap.

70. No one telling you what you can or cannot buy when shopping.

71. No one is telling you to go to the gym because their embarrassed by how you look.

72. No one complaining about what your listening to in your car.

73. You won't have someone throwing out your stuff because they think you don't want it.

74. All of the space in the closet is all yours.

75. All those dirty messes you made, you can leave them that way!

76. You can drink milk straight out of the container without anyone telling you to use a glass.

77. You won't have any other opinions to contend with.

78. No one to care if you walk around the house in your underwear, scratching and passing gas at will.

79. When you get home from work, you can do whatever you want without someone telling you to get something done around the house.

80. You won't have someone else telling you what is right and what is wrong.

81. You won't have someone taping over your favorite movies.

82. You don't have to laugh at jokes that are not funny.

83. Someone isn't telling you to cut the lawn.

84. Someone isn't telling you to not hang out with certain friends.

85. You don't have to appear to eat healthy around him/her. You can chow down on the triple pounder with cheese without feeling guilty.

86. You won't have your in-laws telling you about their religious beliefs, which are not your own.

87. You don't have to spend thousands on a engagement ring.

88. You won't have to tell them you love the ring they got you, even though you think it's hideous.

89. Speaking of weddings, it's cheaper not having one.

90. You won't have someone vacuuming during your nap.

91. You are the supreme master of the refrigerator.

92. You won't have doubts if the person your with is really in love with you or not.

93. The only debt you have to worry about is yours.

94. You won't have to worry about marriage counseling.

95. You don't have to give a reason for buying the 61" big screen tv.

96. You won't have someone nagging you to get a better job.

97. You don't have to worry about compliments and if their good enough.

98. There is less noise if you live alone.

99. You can run around in a make-shift toga and do a little dance while singing opera without someone giving you a strange expression.

100. You clean the bathroom when you feel like cleaning the bathroom.

101. You don't have to worry about coming up with vacations and if their good enough for your significant other.

102. You don't have to buy gifts for him/her!

103. Your car is yours, no sharing.

104. You will always get the best seat in the house to watch your favorite shows.

105. You are never late for anything. Ever.

106. You decide if you want pets or not.

107. You only have to worry about retirement for one.

108. If you want Rambo or Barbie bed sheets, by golly you can have them!

109. You don't have to listen to someone else snoring.

110. The only sick person that you have to worry about, is you.

111. If you want children, you can still adopt.

112. A cruise in the Bahamas is cheaper by yourself.

113. You don't have to clean up after anyone but yourself.

114. When you shop for food at a store, your the authority on whats good for you or not.

115. You never have to hear the line, "Let's just be friends".

116. You control the thermostat in your house, if your too cold crank that sucker up.

117. You can play video games all night without someone telling you to be more productive with your time.

118. You can talk on the phone for hours with girls (or guys) without hearing the "who's that, who's that??" line.

119. There is no compromising on how to decorate your house, it's totally up to you.

120. You don't have to explain why an entire pan of brownies have been eaten in a single night.

121. Speaking of desserts, you only have the ones in which you like. No fruitcake for you.

122. You decide when to do the pile of dishes in the sink.

123. You don't have to worry about bailing your girl/guy out of jail at 3am in the morning on a work night.

124. You don't have to explain why you have a brand new expensive sports car in the driveway.

125. You can veg all day in front of the television watching your favorite tv marathon without complaint.

126. No one complaining why girls (or guys) are leaving comments on your Facebook, Myspace, etc.

127. The only "voice of reason" is your own to deal with.

128. You don't have to say "I'm wrong, your right" even though you know that your right but your just saying that your wrong to stop discussing it.

129. If your really in the mood, it's cheaper to download adult material than it is to pay for a movie and dinner and only hoping to get some action after.

130. There won't be any "meet the parents" problems.

131. You only have to support yourself.

132. You don't have to wonder what they mean when they say "No, I don't need flowers", yet when you don't get flowers for them they get angry.

133. All the money from the tax return is yours to spend on whatever, without being hassled.

134. You won't have to deal with the "I love you" question, and whether or not if they really mean it.

135. No one will throw your stuff out on the lawn.

136. There will be no one asking you "What time will you be home?" and giving you a guilty feeling about even going out.

137. No one is wondering why your reading this list.

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