Friday, 26 July 2013

Little red riding Hood updated

Once upon a time, there was this little girl, who had brainwashed people into believing she was a perfect little girl, and she especially fooled her grandmother who, she was convinced was going to die soon and leave her all her stuff. One day the Grandmother, falling for the old I need this item to be fashionable, bought her a red cap, made of very expensive red velvet, and then from now she was called at least in public little red riding hood. One day her mother said to her, "Come, Little Red Riding Hood, here is a piece of cake and a bottle of wine. Take them to your grandmother, she is ill and weak, and they will do her good. Set out before it gets hot, and when you are going, walk nicely and quietly and do not run off the path, or you may fall and break the bottle, and then your grandmother will get nothing. And when you go into her room, don't forget to say, good-morning, and don't peep into every corner before you do it." I will take great care, said Little Red Riding Hood to her mother, and gave her hand on it. And promptly broke her word, as young as she was she liked to party, and a free bottle of wine, well, she wasn’t going to let that go to waste with her old soon to be dead grandmother..

As red was walking through the forest, she had an idea, I know since she lives so far into the woods, I can probably help her along, and she opened the bottle of wine and celebrated, remembering to “smash” the bottle after it was drunk. So red detoured to a pet shop, and bought a wolf, and took it with her, tormenting it, and hitting it with a stick to get it all angry and murderous. Towards all humans, so as red wandered, towards the grandmothers, she worked out her plans.. she planned to put the wolf into the house and let it eat poor grandma all up, but then she realised since there were big strapping woodcutters near her grans house, they could possibly save her..

As red got closer she heard the woodcutters, and sneaked by them, then red tied the wolf up, outside the house and hit the animal till it was insane in pain and anger. Then red went to the woodcutters, and show other red stuff that was bought for her by the grandmother, after a while the woodcutters fell asleep, and red could finally get on with getting rich.. so red went back to the house, by which time the wolf was foaming at the mouth, red knocked on the door, and got grandma to open it, as she did so , red ran inside and hit old grandma with an axe she had “borrowed” from the woodcutters, after making sure the grandma was dead, red, went all around the house, seeing what could be stolen, grandma’s jewellery, then finding the grandma’s will, did a little forgery, to make sure all her property came to red, then she pushed the wolf into the house with the semi decapitated women, and waited for the wolf to eat grandma all up.. then after filling himself on grandma, the wolf fell asleep.

Red, thought, hang on, what if someone remembers I bought a wolf, then hatched another plan, and red ran off to the woodcutters, and screamed and not in the same way as she had before, woke all the bug burly woodsmen up, and explained a wolf had killed her grandma. They all ran off to the house, and saw the wolf, asleep, and the woodsmen, went in with their big axes and chopped the poor innocent wolf to bits. Red being the mercenary girl she was, told the woodsmen to try to leave the wolf fur as intact as possible. As she thought a red hat wasn’t the real fashion statement she wanted now, so she got the wolf pelt and managed to get a tailor to make her a wolf skin coat and a fur hat.. now as red was rich, after murdering her grandma, and dressed in fine wolfskin, she wandered round the town, until one day, the local animal wildlife expert saw red in the rare white wolf skin coat, and knew it was from the very rare, white wolf, a nearly extinct species.. and did a little investigating, and discovered red had bought one, from some favours she gave to the animal shop owner.. then he discovered how coincidental it was that she happened to buy a wolf, the same day a wolf killed her grannie.. so the expert, had red arrested for animal cruelty, murder, forgery, and was promptly put in prison for the rest of her life..

The end..

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